Lily Waddell
·Entertainment News Editor
·4-min read
What did you miss?
This was the heartbreaking moment Freddie Flintoff filmed in hospital shortly after his Top Gear crash for Field Of Dreams on Tour.
Flintoff had transformed a cricket club and the lives of teenagers at his hometown Preston. His ambitious plan to take the team to compete in India didn't go to plan when Flintoff had a crash at Top Gear's test track at Dunsfold Park Aerodrome, in Surrey, in December 2022.
Tragically it happened 12 weeks before his planned trip to India with the boys which had to be delayed and almost didn't happen. In a piece to camera filmed in hospital just a week and a half after the crash, Flintoff said he genuinely "should not be here" after the crash.
What, how and why?
He said: "Genuinely should not be here after what happened. It's going to be a long road back, I'm only just started. look on positives, I'm still here, got another chance, get another go at it, that's how it is. A second go."
Reuniting with the boys on the cricket team was always on his mind while he was in hospital. It was what kept him going. He added: "I'm looking forward to seeing the lads. I really am. I really am. This India trip is going to be as much for me for them now. I'm determined, I really want to go."
Freddie Flintoff details nightmares and flashbacks
Seven months after the crash, Flintoff had operations on his face and revealed he rarely left the house. He said: "I wanted to shake it off, it's been a lot harder than I thought. As much as I wanted to go out and do things I have not been able to."
The emotional sequence saw Flintoff reflect on the aftermath of the crash and how it has impacted his every day life. It was the trip to India that was spurring him on to get back to normal. "It's one of the things, all the way through this, in hospital, I was aiming towards," he said. "March, then aiming towards September. It's always been a little bit unachievable. I think about it all the time. I think about going and how good it will be."
However Flintoff revealed that he was unable to leave the house and the thought of getting a plane, leaving his family, made him feel anxious - especially as he only goes out with a full face mask and glasses on. Detailing the impact of the crash, he said he has nightmares and flashbacks to what happened. In one heartbreaking moment, Flintoff said he didn't want sympathy.
"I don't leave the house either," he said. 'Got to get on a plane. I've got to be away for two and a half weeks. Got to try put it into perspective. I feel guilty I can't do that. I don't want to sit here and feel sorry for myself. I don't want sympathy.
"Going from being in here for seven months to going to India for two months ago. I go full face mask and glasses. I can't do that. I struggle with anxiety, I have nightmares. I have flashbacks. It's been so hard to cope."
Flintoff's emotional Field of Dreams reunion
In January 2024, Flintoff was reunited with the boys. "Always a bit of apprehension," he said. "A bit of anxiety, a bit of nerves." Despite the nerves ahead of the meeting, it was an emotional meeting filled with love and support as well as a lot of hugs.
Getting back to training, he admitted: "I'm trying to focus on the good stuff that can happen. As much as I stand there and tell the lads how good it's going to be, there's a bit of nervousness from my point of view. I find myself over years being in situations which I'm never quite sure I can get through. That's how I'm feeling. There will be times you won't see me for half an hour, I'll go cry in my room, come back... Yeah it'll be alright."
Later in the episode, Flintoff revealed he feels like the father to the nine lads while out in India. "I have mixed emotions," he said. "It's so strange. I feel like father to nine lads. I feel really responsible. I've not been away from home recently. When I left my four kids and missus, I went to cry a little on plane."
